mommy look

Will God forgive me because I've told lies to attend services and cgm?

i couldn't find the courage to tell them i am going to church. i fear of their disapproval. i know i shouldn't. But the fear is an integrated fear since young. Always i have been under their command on what to do, and what i shouldn't do. My life have been in their hands since born. oh, i mean my freedom. I fear their reactions. I know, one day the truth will come to light, but i couldn't bring myself to tell them. I'm such a coward.

I pray to God that one day when i no longer have fear and tell them the truth, they will see the change in me. Gladly accept it and approve of it. For i stick closely to this word from Simon which initially was from Ruby, " perfect love cast out all fears " . I pray that they'll see my love for God, and see that nothing is going to stop me from loving Him. I want to see that day come. That day, i stand in front of them, telling them, "Jesus is my Lord" without any fear. I want to kick out this coward in me. The day i no longer hide in darkness with fear in me.

But at least I've done something today. i told Francis and i have his support though he is totally a 100% pagan. well, that's something i really like when I'm with him. He never stops me from doing things i want. He supports me in whatever i do. (: I'm happy with it.

And i hereby confess to everyone that the gigantic age gap between us is 17 years. But it did not become a problem for us. We've dating for like 3 years? (: this is something i used to really hate talking about. But I've confess it today. ^^ this is like GREAT!!!! i don't want to hide it from people.

okay, here is something interesting that happened today:

Generally, a very very happy (: day.

Joce, Simon and me met to support Cass at JW church for her water baptism. (: Leslie is so nice, he gave us a ride from Joce's house to JW. Was at Joce's place, and i am very entertained by the CUUUUUTTTTTTTEEEEEEEE pet doggy of Joce named SNOWY. (: i took photos of him and he posed for me!!! how sweet. LOL. I was sitting on the floor and he brought over his favourite toy to me. Haha. Love him. I'll post his pictures some other time. =Pp and Snowy loves TUMMY RUB!!!!! LOL.

Was at JW church as we were waiting, there's this super cute and handsome boy in front of me. He looked quite bored at first then i started to 'entertain' him. LOL. (or was i entertaining myself. oh wells.) and he kinda like it, shook hands with me and waved bye bye to me. HAHAs. Everyone was like O.O , " he never wave to me.. ): " oh wells. i've got a mommy face. everyone knows it. then, his family moved further, so he was having this sad look and wave his last byebye to me. ooh. how i miss 'entertaining' him.

Water baptism went super salty for Cass. LOL. Keeve poured every single grain of salt from the container into Cass's mouth. and Cass is like super thirsty for quite a while after that. (:

Movies~! Rat-a-too-ee. Funny movie, everyone's gotta watch. nice one. I wanna watch the secret but Francis doesn't wanna watch. ): sad. Wells, here's the fun part. when we were like 4/5 through the movie then the kid sitting next to me is so tired that he mistaken me for his mother. He grabbed my arm and lie on me. LOL. i was so in shock 0.0 before i could react to tell him i'm not his mommy, i quickly withdraw my arm. wells. then he finally realise i'm not his mommy.

one last question, do i really have mommy look? LOL. =PpPpp