thinking it thru.

Today, there were some thoughts on my mind. i kept it till now to blog it.

I concluded that he is indeed just a passer-by of my heart. I'm no longer young, i have to think properly for everything. Not just to dream of the things i wanted. I used to love the disney princess stories whereby the pretty princesses found their prince charming and they live happily ever after. These are fairytales. Fairytales are meant for entertainment instead of believing in it. I no longer want to live a life believing that things like these will happen to me. Its a painful fact. But it is still true that this world we are living in is not neverland. Its a world that you are nothing more than a person adding on to its population, an adding effort to ruin the environment, an adding effort to use up the earth's resources.

What i want to say is, just now i was standing by the window looking into the night sky, all of a sudden, words flashed into my mind. The moon and stars don't shine for me, no matter how depressed i get. Whether i am in this world or not, the earth doesn't stop rotating. The flowers don't bloom for me. The birds don't sing for me. I've to get on with my life no matter what happened. What is done is done. What is important and i am proud of is, I NEVER REGRET ANYTHING I HAVE DONE. Because having regrets doesn't help. What i can do is to quit thinking of him. 'cause even if i keep thinking of him, it won't help anything except to affect my life. You can say that i have forsaken love after the 2 didn't-worked-out-well relationships. Maybe i really did. That's why i'm here talking crap about what i think. Talking crap about being nothing. But who can say that it is not true? Unless is him. But it is definitely impossible. With guarantee and chop.

I'm glad to realise this and proud to say that i've really grown up alot since the secondary school LEYI VS JANET battle. All along the way from then till now, with all the 'falls', i'm becoming a STRONGER girl than i used to be. But i still have got a long long way to go. Not only stronger. But also wiser. =) Janet is a stronger girl than she used to be. And i am seriously proud of that.
'Cause i'm no longer a little girl who still lives in fairytales. I'm a young lady who is ready to stand alone and face the world.

Are you there reading this? Hope we can be better friends than what we are now. It hurts me when my friends doesn't give a damn about me. Though i am stronger but i am not that strong. do you know that?? Just tell me you really still care. As a really good friend i mean.