♥ Simply Sugared

I'm a non-human in this world, yeah, tt's right... i'm a non-human. i'm numb. i cant feel anymore. if anyone wanna ask why, juz to let u koe, i had too much feelings b4, i received too much same responds and i am used to it. Or am i? that sudden slow down of heartbeat make me feel so sick. the heart beats so slow and so hard against my ribs every now and then. Tt's right, this is the feeling i experienced for months but only now i know how to describe. It's so slow and so hard tt it hurts my chest. i'm sure this feeling is worse than dying, isnt it? Have anyone had this feeling b4? Can someone please tell me why. It hurts up to my collar bones and down to my abdomen. This feeling comes with dizziness. Yeah. Tt's why i slept thru the double both maths periods. i really slept. when i woke up, and stood up, i can faint any moment. But when i keep myself busy, this feeling goes away. then when i stop for a break, it came back. i am still having it now coz i'm very relax when i am blogging. Joanne told me not to be silly. Am i? Ouch! my ribs hurt. If anyone koes pls contact me.

I'm genius. i passed my amaths and i failed my emaths. i passed my amaths with borderline and passed my biology with borderline too. I passed my EL compo, when i shld fail. i wrote such a lousy essay. i barely had enough time coz i re-write my essay fer 2 times. Some more very very neatly. i took my own sweet time. and i made so so so many mistakes with my tenses. Can anyone believe it? Secondary 4 and is still making tenses mistakes? Yeah, i lack of practice. I'm slacking very much. When i know i failed my emaths, i really have no will to live anymore. i nvr fail emaths. and i did it now. Worse still no one koes how i feel coz i'm smiling. The one who knows dun even care.

I am expressionless. i am emotionless. i am numb. every things tt happen who can i tok to? probably only Geraldine and Joanne. Geraldine b4 sch. Joanne after school. Joanne said the same thing as someone told me b4. And this adds on to my insecurity. Coz the more i tot over it, the more i realise it. i had fall... i cant help it. Even if i wanna get out of it, it is very difficult. It's juz me. It's juz me. Dont blame me. but wad joanne said and geraldine said are opposite. whose advice should i take? i mean both advices make sense. i really feel like asking someone to slap me. juz slap me. make me wake up. slap so hard tt it leaves make on my face. maybe i shld get my mom or dad do it.

Ouch! it hurts again. i cant relax. i'm so sick. i dun feel like doing anything.